The BEST Gift that Every Mom Needs to Increase Their Quality of Life.

What’s better than getting diamonds or dozens of roses for Mother’s Day? I know! I know! (*Jumps up and down in excitement!) It’s the gift of being yourself. 

But each year, many moms overlook the true excitement and reward of living authentically. It’s not that they lack confidence, its that they value what one of my favorite virtual mentors Gary Vaynerchuk calls “POV”. That’s right, the majority of moms value other people’s POV (point of view) so much that they compromise on making decisions that speak to their own heart. Why is that? 

I raise this question because I can totally relate! I was that person who valued other people’s POV so much that I grew anxious in making a decision that didn’t follow their beliefs. I was what we commonly call, “the people pleaser”, even if it costed me my sanity. It took a pivotal moment in my life that made me decide that the best gift that I can give myself is the gift of being myself. That moment occurred when I noticed my son making a decision to do something based off of what one of his friends wanted him to do. Granted, part of being a friend is helping each other out, but this was out of my son’s character. I asked him why and his response was, “I want him to be my friend.”. As I proceeded to tell him that if he had to do something that he wasn’t necessarily comfortable doing just to satisfy a friend then they might not be a person to hang around. And then it clicked! How in the world can I tell my son to do something that I was not fully living by? I was constantly making decisions to please the world and it led to nothing but increased stress. So I made the choice to be comfortable in being myself and strive to make decisions that speak to my heart without fear of losing friends or being seen as a rude or mean person. 

The journey of being true to myself and intentional on the decisions that I make has given me a free feeling. I even noticed that the opinionated people have shifted their approach of how they interact with me…..in a good way. The best thing in this journey is that I can provide my children with insight that I actually live by and not simply hope to live by. So this year for Mother’s Day, I encourage you to gift yourself with the gift of being true to yourself. Happy Mother’s Day!

My message to you:

Don’t allow the opinions of the world dim your light. You were uniquely chosen to raise your children with excellence before they were even born. Life is about happiness. The validation you need has been granted by a power that no human can fulfill. So live it up!!!!

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Learn more about Meltdown Momma at http://www.meltdownmomma.com. Or follow me on IG at @meltdownmomma.

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Stop Listening to People: How to Live with Confidence in Your Home & Work Life

Stop listening to people.

Want to live a fulfilled, successful life? Well, stop listening to people! Simple, right!?

If you are like me, you were raised to listen to others and be respectful of what they had to say or there would be consequences. Whether that is a trip to Chuck e Cheese or a toy from Target, if you did not listen you were going to miss out on getting cool things. Now that I am an adult, I am finding that listening to everyone presents a greater consequence than not listening. In this journey of motherhood and “adultism”, we are faced with an abundance of “self-proclaimed” experts who feel free to provide unsolicited advice. Every one of them wants us to listen. And the crazy part about this is that we actually take in what they have to say. Our moods become affected, we question our capability and we turn down opportunities because we listened to someone who was not a great source. 

I can say this as I was greatly affected by listening to people, social media and articles that claimed the definition of what a mother should do with her life and how she should raise her family. I wanted to satisfy everyone, even if it sacrificed making a decision that came from my heart. It took one moment too many that led me to silence the noise of trying to be a people pleaser.

Let’ts take a walk down memory lane:  During my senior year in college, my husband (then boyfriend) and I found out that we were pregnant with our first child. If you asked me how I felt at that moment, I probably still could not find the words to express those emotions. But that is a story for another time! So after giving birth to our little William, I returned to school within a week and a half to go to class. We traveled back and forth between cities so that my husband could continue to work and I could complete my schooling. It was TOUGH, but we had a village that allowed us to do so. It was not long after that I returned to school that I received a phone call from a family friend. It went like this, “Domonique, you are being selfish for staying in school and not dropping out to work. What you are doing is not right”. Immediately I felt like my choosing to stay in college was a mistake. I questioned myself and wondered if I may be selfish. Could this “self-proclaimed” expert be right? So I did like anyone would do, I vented to my husband. And he simply responded, “Stop listening to people. What matters is what works for us.”.

It’s like a light bulb turned on and brightened up my thoughts on who I was living my life for. And still to this day, I always ask myself in the back of my head. “What works for me and my family?” and the answer that speaks to my heart is what I proceed to do. You see, life is not about pleasing the opinion of the world. If you strive to live up to the opinions of the world, you will sacrifice living a life fulfilled. I have learned many lessons and continue to each day as it relates to filtering the information that I allow to affect me. Here are three things that I apply in my life and I pray it will help you too.

  1. Listen to your heart!
  2. Be OK with imperfection!
  3. Take down lessons out of each experience you have. The good and not so good.

My message to you:

Don’t allow the opinions of the world dim your light. You were uniquely chosen to raise your children with excellence before they were even born. Life is about happiness. The validation you need has been granted by a power that no human can fulfill. So live it up!!!!

Want to be in the exclusive MomVP Tribe! Click on the picture below! 

MomVP Tribe

Learn more about Meltdown Momma at http://www.meltdownmomma.com. Or follow me on IG at @meltdownmomma.

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How to Ignite Your Legacy by ACTing now! Featuring Mignon Francois

ambitious working mother

In your journey of life, you are guaranteed to run into someone who is placed specifically to ignite you to push forward. But in order to receive this push, you must be aware of the lessons you learn in each life experience. This month, we are going to talk about how to decrease stress so that you can jump start in the direction of successfully reaching your goals. And I feel that it is befitting to kick off April with our feature ambitious working mother, Ms. Mignon Francois.

Over 2 years ago, I had the pleasure to meet someone who totally shifted my thought process with just one interaction. I was in the process of pursuing a goal that I began to lose hope on. I doubted my ability to succeed because I lacked what I thought I needed and that was money. I attended a networking event and this person beamed in a bright light of energy that simply can’t be explained. Her name, Mignon Francois, the founder of The Cupcake Collection. Not even knowing her story, I felt drawn to her so after the event I walked to her to introduce myself. Without thought, I told her my desire to be at a particular event and in order for me to be there I needed to raise funds. With calmness, she replied, “My dear you came to me for money. And money is not what you need.” Honestly I became confused and embarrassed. Not only did I blurt out my life dilemma, but the very thing I thought I must have was not identified as the needed item. She proceeded to give me what I still call today, the “secret ingredient”. Mignon said, “Everything you need you already have. You just need to learn how to use it. Claim that you are going to do it and don’t speak as if it’s impossible to reach. The thing is….. it is going to happen.” We continued to talk as she sought to help me speak more from my heart. I did what anyone would do at that moment, I cried. Yes! I cried because trying to grasp that I have the power to reach my goals and dreams was overwhelming, but necessary to hear. Mignon did not send me away after giving my “pitch”, she took the time to give me invaluable knowledge that I still apply to this day! Many people have helped me grow in my journey, but at that  particular moment in my life, she was right on time.  Which is why I want to share with you the lessons that I continue to learn from our fellow ambitious working mother.

Mignon recently spoke at the L.A.C.E. Project Women’s Conference in Nashville which focuses on committing to educating and empowering all women in the areas of entrepreneurship, health & wellness and beauty. (Information about this initiative is below.) I got to catch the replay of her speaking and every feeling of hope, value and desire to ACT came over me just as if it were the first day that we met! The nuggets she poured in to the souls of those who attended were something that is truly God called. Being inspired, the lessons (ingredients) that I received by listening to her replay have led me to create the ingredients that will help you ignite your legacy by acting now.

Break down what is holding you back.

Mignon’s ingredients: “Your tears are temporary. When you cry, you are able to see more clearly. Tears will bring you joy.”

It’s time to release every stronghold that has been holding you back.  Clear your mind. Release your worries and your frustrations that are holding you back on paper. Be honest in what you write, this exercise is for you to do for yourself. When you identify what is holding you back, you are able to confront it. This process may not be easy, but it is necessary in order for you to ignite your legacy. Ingredient: “Fears are only there to get in your way.”

You must demand more for your life. Raise your expectations.

Mignon’s ingredient: “You don’t have to be qualified, you only have to be called.”

How many times have we discounted ourselves for pursuing certain things because we don’t have the right qualification? I know I can count on all fingers the number of times that I have held back from pursuing ventures because I did not feel qualified. But Mignon’s ingredient serves as a confirmation for us to understand that the things that are placed on our hearts to pursue is  divinely given to us. That serves as the ultimate qualification. So demand big, seek for more and follow the purpose that sticks to your heart. Ingredient: “Did you know that you have power? People are simply not asking enough.” “When we tell ourselves we are not good enough, you put your opinion higher than God.”

Be Ok with making mistakes.

Mignon’s ingredient: “Dreams are never tied to mistakes only plans are. Mistakes are necessary obstacles to get where you need to go.”

It’s time to stop worrying about perfect, because perfect simply does not exist.

You must act now.

Mignon’s ingredient: “ACT means to Always Consider Today. It’s time to act now. Now is all you own. It’s time to have now faith.”

I’m going to let this statement marinate for all of us to take in. The time is NOW! It’s time to surrender our strongholds, our doubts, our fears to a greater power. Our purpose is to serve and do phenomenal things in the world. There is someone in the world that is meant to be touched by YOU. You were validated by God the very day that you were born to do anything that you put your mind too. Be confident. Be bold.  Be intentional. Be a believer.

Final Thoughts:

I am sure I speak for many when I say that we are thankful for ambitious working moms like Mignon. You are a truly a child of God and are full of purpose.

For information about the L.A.C.E. (Let’s All Create Empires) project, visit and support this initiative at www.thelaceproject.org

To learn more about Mignon’s story and the Cupcake Collection, visit thecupcakecollection.com

Join the Meltdown Momma Community for more tips, inspiration, free webinars and success strategies to soar in your home and work life!

About Meltdown Momma:

Meltdown Momma provides success strategy tools , and experiences so that mothers can effectively handle moments of overwhelm, increase their productivity in their home and work-life, and significantly improve their level of confidence.

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Give this 1 thing up today and be rich forever!!

IMG_4454.PNGRaise your hand if you want to be rich by giving up only 1 thing! (*proceeds to raise both hands!) Each mom is only 1 step away from being rich and I am so excited to spill the beans. There is no purpose in living if you can’t share what yields fulfillment and happiness, right!?

So of course there is a catch, giving up this step will not be easy. But the second that you make yourself aware of the steps you need to take to give it up, you will get closer to living a rich life…..forever.

Since I have become a mother I would find myself easily doing this one thing and found myself falling into a slump. And being the “master emotions hider” that I am, no one was able to detect it. Well that was until I became consumed with doing it. I would wake up and do it while watching social media, shopping in the grocery store and even when I was at church. I know I’m not the only mother to do it, but not many will fully admit that they do this very thing. It even led me to question my capability of being a “qualified” mother and even caused me to not want to engage in conversations with anyone who had a child. What stopped me from doing this one thing happened from giving myself a self check and deciding that I am worth being rich in life. You are probably thinking….”what is this one thing?”. You ready!? Ok. Ok. Here it is. The one thing that I would do all of the time was compare myself to other mothers. I would compare my body image, the meals I would cook for my kids, my pictures, my clothes, and I would even compare what my kids accomplished in comparison wo what other people’s kids accomplished. And don’t let there be a picture of the mom who “does it all” and manages to have on flawless makeup. My mind was full of  omparisoon that did nothing but just hurt me and diminish my value of self-worth.

So today I am challenging you to give up comparing yourself to other mothers. You start working on this one thing alone and you are guaranteed to be on a path to be rich for a lifetime. This type of rich has a higher value than the monetary rich. Yep! I know you were probably thinking about the dollars. But in order to get rich (dollar wise), you have to be rich in mental well being. When you distract yourself with the things that do not matter, you waste time that you could be spending on things that do matter. For instance, the personal goals that you are seeking to reach will be interrupted if you continue to compare yourself to other mothers. And here is a spoiler alert: when you compare yourself to other people, you will NEVER be satisfied. You are uniquely made and created, there is not 1 duplicate on this Earth that will match up to what you and only you can offer. So if you are ready to be rich, give up comparison today. You will not be disappointed!

As always:

Behind the smile of a mother lies a story, a story of happiness, a story of sadness, a story of joy and a story of overwhelm. But each mom should know that no matter what they are going through, they are never alone. Every mom is capable and worthy of living a fulfilled life!

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3 Ways to Stomp Fear As A Working Mom

 

Have you ever feared being seen as a slacker because you are a working mom?

Research shows that 1 out of 2 working moms say that they have feared being judged in the workplace for taking unplanned time off to care for a child. Unplanned meaning unexpected and definitely not on your calendar as a pre-chosen day off.  So if you’ve taken an unplanned day off and felt like you were being judged for doing so, you are not alone! I vividly remember moments when I would grow anxious at work during the cold, virus and flu seasons. I would try to avoid checking the phone hoping that the daycare would not call to tell me that my child caught the “yuckies” and needed to be picked up. This doesn’t mean I didn’t love my children. I just allowed my fear of being seen as a slacker handicap me from making clear, sound decisions with ease. Thankfully, this fear began to disappear when I started to apply three key strategies that helped me to stomp the fear of being seen in a certain light. I learned how to be comfortable and fearless in choosing to make decisions based off of my priorities. And I want you to show you how to apply the same strategies. Follow these way to be a fearless working mom and you are sure to yield positive results!

Here are the 3 ways to be a fearless working mom!

#1: Tell the voices to shut it! Eliminate the Noise.

One of the biggest factors that lead you to feel like you are being judged in the workplace are attributed to the very thoughts that are in your own head. That’s right! Many times the only person judging you for choosing to take time to care for your child is you. So, it’s time to eliminate the noise and fill your thoughts with positivity. Identify and write down the top 5 things/people that you value the most in your life. When you are faced with tough decisions, refer to your list and make your decisions according to your priorities. When you feel the noise of criticism sneak into your mind, say the following sentence out loud: “The decision I have made is what I feel is best to do at this time. I will not criticize or judge myself, for the decision that I have made is based off of what matters to me the most.” It’s time to eliminate the noise that lies in your head. Speak positively and set your mind on how you preferred to be perceived, don’t focus on negative thoughts.

#2. Bring it on! Take on the challenges.

Ask your boss for more work or opportunities. Yep! Seek to find opportunities or take on mini challenges in the workplace. Taking on challenges can help you build your level of confidence in understanding the value you bring to the table. So when you face times where you have to leave early, you are more confident in knowing that you bring a great skill in the workplace. Thus leading you to experience less worry about being perceived as a slacker. You will have what I like to call tangible results in what you produce where you are. Every time you establish an accomplishment, document the challenges you have completed and tasks you have performed or contributed of value in the workplace. When you shift your focus on becoming confident in your value as an asset, you will be less worried about being perceived as a slacker.

#3. Nobody has time to be fake! Be yourself.

The one thing that you naturally gift the world with is the gift of being yourself. Sometimes you many not please everyone, but that doesn’t mean that you should alter your personality or put on a façade. Each day focus on doing your best without compromising who you are. Be honest and establish open communication with your boss. When you are comfortable in being who you are, no one, including yourself can make you feel less than the awesome person that you are.  Apply these strategies effectively and you will be able to stomp the common fears that can be associated with being a working mom!

 

For more tips on how to be fearless in the workplace and live fulfilled, join the Meltdown Momma Community for free! (Psst. And you will also receive exclusive access to courses and free webinars.)

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#1 Thing Every Mom MUST Know in 2017!

We are halfway through the first month of the year and many moms have already given up on their goals for the year. What could be the cause of this? Is it fear? Or is it uncertainty?

I wanted to take the time to dig deeper so that I could understand the root cause of this. I found that moms give up on their dreams because they believe everyone else’s opinion more than their own. Between social media, magazines, friends, random people and…..you guessed it, family. We as moms receive an abundance of unsolicited advice and it leaves us to second guess ourselves and stop abruptly in our tracks. So I wanted to say this 1 thing to help you transition into a mindset to understand that you are fully capable of reaching any goals you set. Being a mom does not place you on a waiting list to live fulfilled. The best gift you can give your family is the gift of being true to yourself. Here is my one thing.

Gone are the days where you are going to allow unsolicited opinions from other people drive how you should live your life. Being a mom is a significant accomplishment. There is a reason that you were blessed and assigned to raise them. Not every decision that you make is going to be perfect, but doing your best with the tools you have in hand is by far the best thing you can give your family and the world! You also have goals and dreams that you seek to accomplish. It’s time to work towards them. No one can tell you that you can’t do it! And if there is ever a moment that you feel overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean you are incapable. It means you are human. Understand that you are purposed to live fulfilled and the only thing that will ultimately stop you is yourself! -Domonique Townsend

Just remember the following three things as you strive to reach goals and new personal heights.

Establish Clarity

Boldly define and clarify what it is you seek in life. Your career, family, health, wealth and spiritual life. When you are clear, you decrease the level of self-doubt in your head. You also can begin to visualize what you seek to accomplish.

Believe in Your Capability

If you are unsure of what you bring to the table, many people will try to dictate or tell you what they think your value is. Believe that you are fully capable to reach your dreams. Be OK being yourself. The more you love you, the less people’s opinions matter.

Know You Are In Your Own Race

You have no competition. Period. No one can do the same things you can do for your family. The opportunities that are in store for you are yours! Act one step at a time in the things that matter to you most. Trying to outdo your neighbor will leave you disappointed, because what works for them may not work for you. It’s best to operate in your own lace and work your own pace when striving to reach your goals.

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About Meltdown Momma:

Domonique Townsend, founder of Meltdown Momma is a devoted, loving, and supportive wife, an energetic and involved mother of three, and an ambitious and passionate industrial engineer. Meltdown Momma serves to help moms conquer their overwhelm, pursue their passions, and successfully integrate work and family.

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Doing this thing alone could change your life as a Mom!

As I reflect on 2016, I automatically think about the lessons that I have learned in my experiences……good,bad and ugly. And to be honest, I believe that I experienced every emotion of this journey we call life. If I were to generalize a list of 10 lessons, it would be this.

  1. You teach best what you need the most of. So if you feel under-qualified to do something you are called or invited to do….that is when you push yourself the most.
  2. Because you cry or have a moment of “weakness”, it does not mean that you not strong. It means that you are human. Strength lies in being true to yourself and admitting when you need help.
  3. If a vision is given to you that requires you to do something out of your comfort zone……do it scared. Whether you take a small step or a big step out of your comfort zone, taking the first step will open the doors of opportunities.
  4. Being brave will take A LOT of you. Standing up for yourself  and making changes that are in the best interest of your family is not an easy task. If you got to cry through it, do it. After you complete what you came to address and/or change…you will be glad that you took the first step.
  5. Don’t underestimate your kids ability to change the world. If they think they can do it….then support them….without the plethora of excuses of why their dreams may not work out.
  6. Work-Life Balance does not exist. (Yep, I said it!) Your family will always be more important than your work. Sure, you need money to survive, but living in fear to make sure that you can pay the bills should not be an option. (Sign-Up in my community to learn more on how we establish living our life to our priorities in any circumstance.)
  7. Experiencing another miscarriage has taught me that even when you feel the least in control of your life, you are never alone. Allow others to take care of you and comfort you. Although you may need time alone, it is important to inform people you trust how are you doing so they can be there for you.
  8. God purposes you to live in favor. You must not only believe in this, but you must also believe that it is for you too.No one person is better positioned than another. If you desire to change your current circumstances, you must believe and act as though it is about to happen. (We will speak more on this in 2017.)
  9. Operating in silence is key when you are working on your big goals. Not every person will understand your dreams and may detour you from accomplishing certain things.
  10. Be careful of who you allow in your house (your mind, your physical house, your inner circle).

Now my purpose is to fully focus on applying these lessons in 2017. But the one ULTIMATE lesson that I learned is the art of being true to yourself. Being true to yourself is the very thing that can change your life as a mom and a woman. When you are honest and comfortable in who you are, you will operate on a path that will lead to fulfillment. So as you enter this New Year of purpose lies ahead for you, answer these very questions before beginning anything:

  • Is doing this task in alignment with who I am?
  • Am I sacrificing doing something that is of higher value for me by saying yes to someone else?
  • Am I doing this task through purpose or just to be seen (or to just please people)?

These above questions will help you in being sure that you are honest in who you are and what you stand for. This world can be full of noise, especially when it gets to being a mom. Staying true to yourself and focusing on what is best for you and your family first is the best gift that you can offer yourself, your family and the world!

If you like what you read, sign up to join hundreds of other moms in the Meltdown Momma Community for a free Mom Sanity Guide, weekly inspiration and empowerment to help guide you to fulfillment and success!

For more on defining your purpose and being in alignment with your principles, grab yourself a copy of my, Mom on Purpose Journal that is created specifically for moms to gain clarity, define their purpose and follow an effective plan to live their life fulfilled.

 

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Email me at: domonique@meltdownmomma.com

 

 

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