The Thin Line Between Support and Advice

All mothers go through a moment when they receive “advice” followed by a “I support you, you know”. But what is the intention of someone who freely advises the mother on the care for their child. Are they being supportive? When is the line crossed in regards to support vs. advice?

The biggest part of my blog,  “Does free speech have a cost”, is about how mothers constantly receive unsolicited advice that can sometimes be hurtful to them. The person speaking to the mother may feel as if they are being supportive in their advice they are given. But is there a thought about the perception of what is being said taken in consideration? For example, a new mother mentioned that she wanted to breastfeed her child for 3 years. A lady mentions that the mother will ruin the child and what she wants to do will be unethical. This lady follows up by mentioning that she supports the mother and just wanted her to do what is best for her. This is where I feel the line has been crossed. Shouldn’t a mother know what is best for her child? If you feel overwhelmed with how to assess an instance where the line is crossed, here are three quick tips:

• Only consider the input from someone who has credible value.
• Always say, “Thanks for your input, this is what is best for my child and I’m comfortable with what I’m doing now.”
• Some people have great advice, but know your child is unique and might have a different outcome.

Outside influences or thoughts only have value if you allow them too. Know that there are people who genuinely care about the well being of you and your child.