Mothers are often the receiver of unsolicited advice, opinions and recommendations for what they should do when taking care of their household. I remember after having my first child, I became the bulletin board for advice from many people, even including strangers. We live in a country where we are free to say what we want, wear what we want, and go for what we want in life. But can what is said to you, cost your relationship with others whether its friends, family, or co-workers?
In the initial phases of a project at work, I often like to perform a cost-benefit analysis. If the benefit outweighs the cost, then I will deem it as a project that should be initiated. I often lose sight of that when I am outside the work environment. I allow all opinions, comments or whatever else may come my way to be initiated and continued. My thoughts become manifested with comments (more on the negative than positive) that they have said and I begin to get angry, worry or become frustrated. But what cost are mothers willing to pay to please the world in how we respond? How often have simply nodded our heads in the moments that they are are given? How often have we let things get to us? I believe this is where free speech has a cost. The costs is stress, anxiety and doubt of oneself because of a person that is providing little benefit to a current situation has become manifested in your thought processes.
If you feel like this, I would like to inform that you are not alone. We all go through it and still do. We must begin to evaluate the benefit of a conversation, if it serves you no good. Then you have to consider whether you are willing to pay the cost in allowing yourself to become manifested on thoughts of someone other than you. I am working on the journey in learning that it is OK to end a conversation when I feel it has no value. For the benefit far outweighs the cost.
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-The Meltdown Momma
D. Anne Townsend