Want to live a fulfilled, successful life? Well, stop listening to people! Simple, right!?
If you are like me, you were raised to listen to others and be respectful of what they had to say or there would be consequences. Whether that is a trip to Chuck e Cheese or a toy from Target, if you did not listen you were going to miss out on getting cool things. Now that I am an adult, I am finding that listening to everyone presents a greater consequence than not listening. In this journey of motherhood and “adultism”, we are faced with an abundance of “self-proclaimed” experts who feel free to provide unsolicited advice. Every one of them wants us to listen. And the crazy part about this is that we actually take in what they have to say. Our moods become affected, we question our capability and we turn down opportunities because we listened to someone who was not a great source.
I can say this as I was greatly affected by listening to people, social media and articles that claimed the definition of what a mother should do with her life and how she should raise her family. I wanted to satisfy everyone, even if it sacrificed making a decision that came from my heart. It took one moment too many that led me to silence the noise of trying to be a people pleaser.
Let’ts take a walk down memory lane: During my senior year in college, my husband (then boyfriend) and I found out that we were pregnant with our first child. If you asked me how I felt at that moment, I probably still could not find the words to express those emotions. But that is a story for another time! So after giving birth to our little William, I returned to school within a week and a half to go to class. We traveled back and forth between cities so that my husband could continue to work and I could complete my schooling. It was TOUGH, but we had a village that allowed us to do so. It was not long after that I returned to school that I received a phone call from a family friend. It went like this, “Domonique, you are being selfish for staying in school and not dropping out to work. What you are doing is not right”. Immediately I felt like my choosing to stay in college was a mistake. I questioned myself and wondered if I may be selfish. Could this “self-proclaimed” expert be right? So I did like anyone would do, I vented to my husband. And he simply responded, “Stop listening to people. What matters is what works for us.”.
It’s like a light bulb turned on and brightened up my thoughts on who I was living my life for. And still to this day, I always ask myself in the back of my head. “What works for me and my family?” and the answer that speaks to my heart is what I proceed to do. You see, life is not about pleasing the opinion of the world. If you strive to live up to the opinions of the world, you will sacrifice living a life fulfilled. I have learned many lessons and continue to each day as it relates to filtering the information that I allow to affect me. Here are three things that I apply in my life and I pray it will help you too.
- Listen to your heart!
- Be OK with imperfection!
- Take down lessons out of each experience you have. The good and not so good.
My message to you:
Don’t allow the opinions of the world dim your light. You were uniquely chosen to raise your children with excellence before they were even born. Life is about happiness. The validation you need has been granted by a power that no human can fulfill. So live it up!!!!
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