I don’t have it all together and neither do you! #momtalk

Welcome to the competitive world of being a mother where everyone brags about cooking healthy meals, reading books to their kids every single night, keeping their house spotless from the ceiling to the floor, taking long walks on the beach in their free time, having access to a long list of babysitters and let us not forget that they know how to sew, host parties and own three businesses on the side and their kids are GENIUSES! Yes in the world of motherhood, it is super saturated with people who only post about how amazing their life is. And then it happens…..you begin to question yourself. You ask, “What am I doing wrong?” or “How can I do what that mom is doing?”. Well let me break it to you. First! You are not alone in asking yourself those questions….many moms do it and I know I have done this several times in the past. The multitude of perfected filtered social media posts and the amazing blogs of the “super mom” doing EVERYTHING amazing have one secret in common. And that is they do not have it all together. Well, how do I know this? If we live this thing called life, we are going to  have moments where we feel like the “ish” has hit the fan. I am not hesitant to admit that I may not have it all together at times….and that is OK with me.

What I want other moms (yeah you!) to know is that it’s OK to be unfiltered and unperfected. Every mom has a moment where they are unsure of what to do next. And you can guarantee that there is a high chance that a post of their unsure moment will not make it social media.  Of course we love the high moments, the times that things worked out perfectly. But since its not an obligation to post what occurs up to displaying a moment, many moms get distracted. Don’t get distracted by another person’s final product. There is a behind the scenes to everything that you see in social media, television, magazines….and even people you are close to in your life. Being mindful of just that along will allow you to understand that no matter what you see out in the world, you ultimately determine the measure of your success according to what you value as successful.

Top “mind traps” to stay away from when trying to get yourself together:

The Measurement Stick.

Do not compare yourself to other moms. What works for you may not work for other moms and vice versa.

The Compromise of Self-Worth.

Do not compromise who you are as a mom and woman for other people, critics and opinionated media.

The Sacrifice of Time: Saying No

If you feel that you are being stretched thin, figure out what you need to say no to at the time. Taking care of yourself also reduces your chance of being distracted by what other people are doing. When you feel better, you operate with a more positive mindset.

The Mother of Denial.

Hi I’m _enter your name here__   and I will not always have it all together. 

Accept that you are imperfect and be OK with that. By no means does that mean that you are incapable, it means that you are human.

Here is my personal quote for you:

“Behind the smile of a mother lies a story. A story of pain, a story of joy, a story of happiness, and a story of uncertainty. And it is up to us to help and support each other along the way because each mom is uniquely made and is non-duplicable. You alone are enough and have value and worth to your family and the world. ” -Domonique Townsend

Connect with me:

Join my private Facebook group for exclusive access to free webinars, guides and tips. Click here to join:  Meltdown Momma Private Community.

To contact me by email for general information and booking: themeltdownmomma@gmail.com

My product store is at bit.ly/MomShop if you love to shop for goodies. 🙂

 

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Ask Kanye: Work-Life Balance Does Not Exist

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The recent news in the media describing the horrific event of Kim Kardashian West being held at gunpoint by robbers while she was in Paris is heart breaking. Tears came to my eyes as I read what had occurred to Kim. All I could think about was Kim as a mom, wife, sister and daughter. (Side Rant: The world gave her the fame so condemning/justifying her for being robbed is shear ignorance.) No one should have to plead for their life or endure such fear from another person, no matter their platform. All I could think about was Kim trying to survive to get back to her family, her babies. The news didn’t discuss that she pleaded so she could get back to work or create a new line of products, she wanted to live for her kids sake.

So I mention this story because when Kayne heard what happened to his wife, he immediately stopped the show he was performing. How many of us would stop, without thought, what they were doing at work to leave for their family? Many of us would hesitate and even fear the thought of receiving a phone call that requires is to leave work. Kayne left work to take care of his family. Sure, he has money and is technically his own boss. But that should not limit us in how we live our lives where we are today. 

So what are some of the myths of work-life balance are we believing that leads us to have fear of having to make family decisions while at work. 
The myths of work-life balance:
Myth 1: Work-Life Balance exists.

Work-Life balance does not exist. Our work will never carry the same weight as our lives. Therefore there will never be a balance. When you arrive to work, you don’t stop being a mom. So the best way to find “balance” is by setting priorities in your life and living according to them. Apply yourself the best you can where you are. And when you are faced with having to make a decision, you can refer to your identified priorities and make choices based off of just that. To feel more comfortable, you can have open communication lines  with your boss to keep them aware of moments where you might have to step out. (Document the conversation for your records.) 
Myth 2: You will be seen as “less productive” if you leave for family emergencies. 

If you feel that your job is at risk for having to take care of your family. Your next step is to identify companies that values what you value. I think this is not the case for many. Because most of the time, our fears of seeming less productive come from our own minds. We carry on a guilt that no one places on us when it gets to situations like this. So to overcome this myth, begin to write down how you bring value in the workplace. Think of what you do best and place it in your memory bank for times you get the phone call that your child needs you. 
Myth 3: You must explain the decisions you make to others so they will understand.
No is a powerful statement all on its on. You do not have to explain what you choose is best for your family! Referring back to Kayne in this situation, he was in the middle of a show when he informed the crowd that he needed to go. 

We have to be willing to live life as such. When you put your family first, decisions are not hard to make when faced with an “event”. 

So, in conclusion, reevaluate what is important to you and begin to live your life according to those priorities. If you find yourself challenged in having to choose between a priority and a non-priority, make a plan to write how to overcome being in a situation like that. Living our lives in fear and “what-if’s” are not apart of the plan that God has for us!

P.S. If Kim and Kanye ever read this blog, I want them to know that I pray that God watches over them at this time. Also to stand strong and know that many people are thinking about you all at this time. Taking care of what matters most is all that counts at this time. Hug Kim for me Kanye. From a mom to a mom, my heart goes to Kim. 

Like what you have read? Join the Meltdown Momma community at http://www.meltdownmomma.com, where we provide daily doses of inspiration, empowerment and strategies to help working mothers live quality lives. 
Website: http://www.meltdownmomma.com

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Email: themeltdownmomma@gmail.com

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A Mom Who “Tries” to Improve, is a Mom who fails.

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Teaser Blog:

I don’t care if the focus is on health, wealth, finance, relationship or career life. If we keep “trying” to improve theses areas as moms, we are going to set ourselves up for a disappointment.

Now I know your face is probably scrunched up in disgust in what you just read. But guess what? If I don’t tell you this information, who will? Trying leads to excuses and delays. So here is one quick takeaway to help you get on a successful path to reach your improvement goals.

Takeaway:
Clearly state what you are going to work on in your life and write it down. 

Want to learn more about the key essentials of self-improvement? I am taking this teaser blog into full capacity in my webinar! 
Like my page Meltdown Momma on Facebook to keep updated on complimentary live self-improvement webinars that I host exclusively for working moms. 

Connect with me at:

IG and Twitter: @meltdownmomma

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How to Take Control of Your Day


What in the world happened to my day after having kids? Many times I feel like a robot and the weekends only mean I am trying to catch up on errands. Sounds familiar? 
I know. I’m with you sister. Our daily routine is definitely not entirely about us anymore. And whether you are new to motherhood or a veteran in the game, there will be moments where you feel like your day is out of control. So how do you regain control of your day? I have a few nuggets that might help you out. How you apply it to your life may vary from one mom to the next, but you will obtain more control over your day if you apply it.
Strategy 1:

Set a standard in what you allow to interfere your routine.
Don’t allow things to be added to your schedule that you know will cause stress or an inconvenience to your day. If it is necessary to add, schedule those tasks on a day where your schedule is not full. And be sure to plan it well in advance. 
Strategy 2:

Make time for yourself in your schedule.
I know. I get it. Your schedule is too hectic to make time for yourself. But it’s necessary to schedule time to do something that you want to do. When you plan your week out, block 30 minutes to an hour for the amazing, awesome person that is you! Remember: This can even mean waking up early or staying up later to regroup. But be sure to make the time to regain your sanity. This strategy will provide many benefits!!
Strategy 3: 

Don’t beat yourself up.
If it doesn’t get done….it doesn’t get done. Measuring the success of your day by perfecting and completing every task on your schedule will drive you insane. I tired it! It doesn’t work. I would get frustrated if I had something left on the to-do list and I even felt like a failure. I now only measure my success by doing the best I can do and not allowing an I completed to-do list to determine my worth as a productive mom.  
Helpful Tip:

Taking control of your day will not always go perfect. But setting a standard for what you allow to be placed on your schedule can provide many benefits. 
For more information, visit http://www.meltdownmomma.com and follow Meltdown Momma on Twitter and Instagram with @meltdownmomma!

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How To Establish Self-Love

I have a question for you. What do you remember about being a teenager or a young girl? (It should not take long since we are ALL pretty young!)
Many memories come to my mind, both good (happy face) and even the not so good (double sad face). The memories that are not so good relate directly to my struggle with insecurities. Sure, I smiled all of the time and did the best that I could to EVERYONE’S friend…I know you can relate right!? But deep down inside I questioned my personality and I definitely was not happy with my body image. Between the television and the magazines, my thoughts of beauty was altered. And constantly being told that I talked too much, was too loud, too short, or just too anything by certain people did not help at all either. The worst part about it (yeah it gets worse!) is that I carried these insecurities with me into adulthood….and eventually motherhood. The way I parented when I had my first child was strongly based off of trying to follow what everyone else “recommended” I do. I frequently questioned my capability to be a great mom….and the strong, confident mother. I would cry often and grow frustrated with other people. All because I had such insecurities. Two boys and a high maintenance diva later, I have grown strong in knowing that I’m fully capable of being a good mother and a darn good woman. 
So what caused this growth in loving who I am? I realized that in order to have sanity in my life and live fulfilled, I have to love myself first. The world of critics will destroy you if you let them. Allowing other people to dictate or control how you feel about yourself causes a disservice to you. Sure, many if not all moms face moments of insecurity. So here are some essential exercises to help you establish self-love. I still apply these exercises in my life. Because self-love takes a big effort on yours and my part on a daily basis. You must believe that who you are needs no adjustment. I’m super excited to tell you what I do grow in my journey of self-love. Ok! Here they are.
Exercise 1:

Take A Break! And then Restart!

Cut out every source of media (TV, Facebook, Twitter, a Beauty Magazines, etc.) that makes you feel insecure. Work on yourself and return to the media only in small doses. 
Exercise 2: 

The Love Letter!

1. Address a love letter to yourself.

2. Date it with a future date.

3. Write about how far you have grown in your journey of self-love and be specific in how you accomplished it!

Exercise 3:

The Counter! 

Every time you casually smart something negative about yourself, say 3 things positive about yourself. This includes conversations you have with other people! 

Remember! 

Don’t compromise who you are to satisfy the world. Loving yourself unconditionally frees your mind to actually care about what matters most…..you and your family. -Domonique Townsend, Founder of Meltdown Momma

To learn more, visit http://www.meltdownmomma.com or follow me @meltdownmomma on Twitter and Instagram. 

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Moms May Want to Think Twice About This: It’s time to claim your awesomeness!

Ever question your ability of being a good mother? Don’t worry. You are not by yourself. It is common for us as moms to be their own worst critic. The saying, “We are our own worst critic” should actually be, “Moms are their own worst critic”. Just yesterday I criticized myself about being a good mother. My son approached me to announce that he did not win the 1st place in the fundraiser and seemed sad about it. After informing me of the number of items sold by the winner, I immediately began to feel guilt. If only I worked harder at getting people to donate my son would have won. The thoughts in my head must have transferred to my face. The look in my son’s eyes made me come to senses quickly. I realized that the measure of success was not winning this competition; it was about making it a fun experience for my son. I focused it on the wrong thing. The measure of success was showing that no matter the outcome, we should always be happy for other people. Next time, I know that I will make the next fundraiser he is given, a fun experience. When I began to express my happiness to my son and comfort that he did an awesome job, his response was rewarding. The guilty mom syndrome went away quickly because I applied three simple steps. It actually works! We are going to have moments where we are going to feel guilty or feel unaccomplished as a mom. But what we must remember these three simple steps and know that we are AWESOME and CAPABLE.

Step 1: Acknowledge that you are human.

Motherhood is a complex job, your list can grow long and you will often get to accomplish everything that you desired to do in a day. But you must remember that you are human. It is not about how much you are getting done, it is about doing the best you can. If that involves leaving things off the list, then that is OK. Don’t criticize yourself about not being perfect, life is not about that. You were blessed with your children for a reason. And it was not because you are perfect, it was because you are best for the job of raising your children.

Step 2: You are in your race.

Comparison Syndrome is an ugly condition. Everyone does it. The ones who survive this condition are the ones who focus on defining who they are themselves. Things that other moms have are for them. You have your own set of awesomeness that no other mother has. When you compare yourself to other moms, you are giving yourself a disservice. It’s time to be in your own race. Be happy for what others have accomplished, but know that you are also blessed.

Step 3: Focus on enjoying the moment.

It’s time to get out of your head and into the moment. Criticizing yourself only robs you of living the life you are meant to live. Focus on enjoying the moment.

Moms, It’s time to enjoy the moment! You deserve it. Purchase my “Enjoy The Moment” shirts made for moms as a reminder that we are all awesome and unique in this world. Enjoying the moment allows us to live!

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What you should know about comparing yourself to other mothers?

What you should know about comparing yourself to other mothers?
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Hey there!! Can you believe it’s Tuesday already!? I know I can’t. Between this weather and being snowed in often, my days have become a blur! LOL Ok. Ok. So, let’s cut to the chase. It’s Tipsy Tuesday!!! Where I provide one key tip to help us maintain our sanity and overcome insecurities we may face as mothers. Today’s topic is very juicy. Read below.

We all do this one thing…..and I am trying to figure out why? What is it, you asked? Comparison. Why do we compare ourselves to other people, especially other mothers?

I have been guilty of this many times. I would wake up in the morning, turn onto Facebook and there I see it, perfect pictures of perfect mothers with perfect makeup. And this was before 6am! My mood would grow irritated and I would fall into the comparison game. It was not until recently that I realized one key thing. Every picture that we see in the world has a behind the scenes. When we take pictures of our family, there is a guarantee that the pictures of children moving around and faces turned in various directions will outweigh the one perfect picture that you will choose to post on social media.

So, the next time that you compare yourself to other mothers, remember that there is a behind the scenes. When you compare yourself to other mothers, you rob your children of the great and awesome person you are.

Tipsy Tuesday Tip of The Day:

“Remember that everything you see has a “behind the scenes.” Make the choice to not compare yourself to others.”

That wraps up our Tipsy Tuesday!!!  Check out my site with awesome information and content to help moms be confident in the decisions that they make for themselves and their family!!
And, most importantly, remember to BREATHE! That’s right, We have restocked on Breathe shirts!! Only $15!

Visit www.meltdownmomma.bigcartel.com to check it out!

 

Upcoming Challenge:

The 7-Day, “Slash 5” Challenge. The goal to living a healthy lifestyle. Email themeltdownmomma@gmail.com if you are interested in joining.

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