The words to describe the profound, positive effect that Joan Rivers has had on me are hard to find
at this moment. Hearing the loss of Ms. Rivers felt like it was someone in my own family. She brought laughter, candid feedback, and love to everyone.
While driving my car, I turned to my “thinking music” to reflect on my day and Joan Rivers seemed to come in my mind repeatedly. So I pretended that Ms. Rivers was in my car and began talking to her as if we have known each other for years.
I asked her what are her last words before transitioning into heaven above. I wanted to know what is the one thing that she would like to say that she didn’t have the chance too. My questions were:
- What is the secret to personal happiness?
- What would she like to say?
And just like that…Ms. Rivers…Joan began to answer. She started to sigh and said “Well first…why are you pretending to talk to a dead person and why haven’t I made it to heaven yet!” Of course, I had to tell her that she was on my mind, and that I just wanted her to stop by and give me final wisdom. She agreed to answer my questions and I summed it up as so:
There are too many people out there that are caring too much about what everyone thinks. I made it as far as I did because I chose to be myself and I never apologized for being so. Although I loved to make people smile, I also had my challenges being a woman in comedy. So don’t get caught up thinking that everything was glamorous. Although it may have appeared to look like I was above the world, I was not superhuman. I was just being me. So the secret to happiness is no secret at all, just STOP killing yourself trying to find this magnificent secret that will hopefully cure you of your insecurities. It comes from within, force yourself to love yourself until you actually realize that loving yourself is not so bad after all.
My “thinking music” began to fade away as I was approaching the daycare to pick up my kids, I looked into the sky and smiled. I smiled because I know that is exactly what Joan Rivers would like me know. So today and everyday I choose to love myself, and you know what it is not so bad to love myself after all.
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